CoriinneBenson

Hello! I am Corinne and today I want to show you my most human side.

Sometimes I am wrong because I am human and humans do not always know how to do things right. I can't be perfect though that's what I've always pretended. What's more, I don't want to be perfect but feel perfect for myself. I want to accept that not every day my mood will be the same, that not everyone will like me and that I also make mistakes.. When I feel vulnerable I'm not gonna crush myself anymore. I will respect, care and pamper my wounds. I'll accept my sad days as I accept my happy days. I want to forgive myself. Forgive me and stop blaming me, change blame for responsibility to improve. I'm not gonna crush myself anymore for what I don't do. I'll value what I do and who I am. I will respect my ideas and my decisions. They can be contrary to others and also equally valid. I'm gonna give myself what I need and fulfill my desires.

I'm gonna accept myself. To trust me. To enjoy myself. I'm gonna start loving myself a little better. To treat myself as I would like to be treated. To give myself the time I would like to receive from others and look at myself as I would like to be looked at. I can love myself. I want to love myself. Love me as I am. Wanting what I am. I know it's not easy.. And I still want to try and I know I'll get it. Cause it's what I want for me from me. All the life that I have left I will live with me and I want to accompany me the best I can to be happy.

Though sometimes I don't know how to love myself, I do what I can. I try, I try to tell myself nice things or read some post of self-love and self-esteem to learn how to take care of myself and feel better. But it's hard for me. Although there is something in me that does not understand how I do not know how to love myself well, as if it came in a gene to know it, thinks that no one taught me to do it. No one taught me what to do when I didn't trust myself. Nobody taught me to say nice things. No one taught me how to treat myself when I felt vulnerable or insecure. Or when I felt guilty, sad or afraid. It's the opposite.. I learned very well to demand myself as if what I already am was never enough. I learned to compare myself and see myself less than others. In fact, I learned to give more importance to what I don’t like about myself than what I like about myself.. I learned not to forgive myself and to blame myself. I learned to hide behind my fears being ashamed of them. I tend to say ugly things to myself when I need a compliment the most. To not understand me when I need to be understood the most. To open my wound when I need to heal it most. To tell me things that sink me when I need motivation the most. Or not to trust me when I'm most insecure.

Now I realize that this way of loving myself does not take me anywhere. Well yes, it leads me to unhappiness. It makes me sad and angry. I do not want to be the person who treats me worse, the one who values me less and the one who punishes me the most. That's enough! I want to be the one who is most proud of me, tell me nice things, talk to me with respect, understand me, value me and trust me. I love what I am today, I LOVE TO BE CORINNE, SEXY, BEAUTIFUL AND ENFOCADA.